Epic English Language Fails

If you have spent anytime travelling or working in Asian countries, you will have noticed that the standard of English is generally very poor.

There are one or two exceptions of course, like Malaysia and the Philippines. But overall, when going about your daily business, you will be faced with a barrage of unintelligible, indecipherable drivel.

"I no speaky speaky Engrish goodly"

"Sucky, fucky 5 dollar Mister"

Good old Thailand is probably number one in the verbal diarrhoea league..........

This gem was a photo that I took whilst travelling on a songteaw in the city of Pattaya in Chonburi province. What the hell is a "But Stop"? Somewhere I can rest my fat, sweaty posterior perhaps?

Songteaws are public buses which operate all over Thaland. They are simply converted pick-up trucks, with a covered bed or cargo bay and 2 rows of seats facing each other. The above sign was issued to all songteaws operating in Pattaya and it was a number of weeks before the g…

King Bhumibol Adulyadej

Unless you've been living on the moon or in a cave in Afghanistan then I'm sure you will be aware that today marks the 1 year anniversary of the death of Thailand's beloved monarch King Bhumibol Adulyadej
For nearly seven decades His Majesty was known for his wisdom, generosity, compassion and selflessness. To honour his legacy, all Thais citizens and expats must learn to follow in his footsteps and carry on his good deeds in the years to come

On behalf of everyone at Penfold's Southeast Asian Odyssey, I would like to extend my sympathies and best wishes to the Thai Royal Family and to the the Thai Nation

Long Live the King

It's alive Captain...

I know its been 3 years since my last post but I can confirm I'm not dead. 
Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated!!
You may have been wondering where I've been and what I've been doing and I can tell you that there has been no shortage of drama or ups n' downs..... 
These last couple of years have included a new job, moving home and a divorce..... so I'm now offficially single........ settle down ladies!!
There was simply too much going on to dedicate any time to this blog but I hope to get things back on track in the coming days and weeks....... so please keep an eye out for up-coming posts
Until next time.......

A message to "Anonymous"

It would appear that one of my posts has caused some consternation among the denizens of the web.

The article in question was my description of Thailand's nightlife and the girly bar scene. A reader by the name of "anonymous" seems to have taken particular umbrage with the content, judging by the comment they posted......................

"How great to see the perpetuation of the life of prostitution that these poor girls have to endure. through poverty and lack of choice. And assisting others to follow your sleazy path. Well done. You must be so proud of yourself! (This is sarcasm in case you didn't get it). Bet you have also been to the red light district of Amsterdam where over 80% of the girls have been trafficked from the Ukraine and neighbouring countries."

Well, well, well "anonymous", you have got your panties in a bundle, haven't you?!!!! When you've finished spitting your vitriol, please allow me to deviate from my "sleazy pat…

35 not out

This weekend, to use some cricketing parlance, I strode to the the batting crease of life and guided a cheeky single down leg-side, off the bowling of the grim reaper, to bring up my 35th year.
For those of you who didn't understand a single word of that last was my birthday on Friday night.
My celebrations were a welcome distraction from the political unrest that has afflicted the country in the last couple of weeks. The atmosphere in Thailand had been extremely poisonous but there appeared to be an easing of the tension as the nation came together, on the 5th of December, to mark the 86th birthday of King Bhumibol. This carried on into the weekend where my wife and I hosted a house party.
We were very lucky that my mum and dad were able to be with us and we were joined by a host of friends and acquaintances. Our guests enjoyed a plethora of barbecued food, enough beer and whiskey to sink a battleship....although I'm not sure our neighbours would have been t…

Loy Krathong 2013

Loy Krathong this year was held a week later than normal, due to the death of Supreme Patriarch Nyanasamvara Suvaddhanaects and celebrations in some places were slightly scaled back.

However, here in Pattaya there were plenty of events to mark the occasion. Om and I decided to attend the festivities at Mabprachan Lake.

There was a Miss Noppamas competition, a display of traditional Krathongs, fairground rides, dancing and a plethora of stalls selling food and drink. 
Although we arrived there quite early in the evening, it was still extremely busy and parking spaces were at a premium. The event organisers must have made an absolute fortune as they were charging an entry fee of 20 baht per vehicle. 
Such was the popularity of this festival that when we started our journey home, at around 8.30 pm, there was a queue of waiting traffic stretching several kilometres.  
Overall it was a lovely evening and as you can see from the photos we enjoyed ourselves immensely...... 

Manhandled at Pattaya Floating Market

The floating market is a well-known and popular attraction, located along the Sukhumvit road, here in Sin City.

Almost every time you drive past, the car parks are full and there are busloads of Chinese, Indian, Russian and Korean tourists being herded inside.

It has been in operation since late 2008 and I have been there on 5 previous occasions with my wife, parents and family friends. For visitors who were new to Pattaya, it was pleasant experience and in the early days there was no entrance fee and it was nowhere near as busy as it is now. This meant you could walk around and browse in the shops in relative peace and enjoy an ice cold beverage or a relaxing massage, without having to cough-up any cash or navigate your way past hordes of sweaty Indians or pissed-up Russians.

But, my opinion of the place has changed drastically since the last time I visited.

I was recently invited by a friend to join a tour of Pattaya, taking in several local attractions including Silverlake Vineyard…