Celebrity Interview Number 2: Frank Bough
I would like to extend a warm welcome to our next guest.....the broadcasting legend that is, Mr Frank Bough.
Frank enjoyed a successful career in television and is best known for being a trail blazer in the development of the breakfast TV show.
His distinguished career won him many admirers but, as with many celebrities, his penchant for drugs and sado-masochistic sex caused a spectacular fall from grace!!! Behind the the facade of the loveable old man in the "grandad-style" sweaters lay a coke-raddled old pervert!!!
However, despite his many misdemeanours has agreed to come out of retirement to give us this exclusive interview!!!!
So Frank, How are you enjoying your retirement?
I'm certainly enjoying life out of the limelight, It means I can travel to Thailand to enjoy the "nightlife", without the risk of a picture of me, spanking the bare bottoms of 18 year old go-go dancers while wearing lederhosen and a gimp mask, appearing in the News of the World!!!
Bangkok is certainly more fun than life in rural Berkshire, that's for sure!!!! There are fewer places to get your jollies here!!!
Thailand is like an addiction and after all I should know about addictive substances!!! When I haven't had a Thailand fix for a while, I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat craving a plate of som tam and babbling deleriously about lady boys!!!
Usually the missus thinks I'm still suffering from the effects of my kidney transplant and makes me a nice cup of cocoa!!! But what I really need is a midnight tuk-tuk ride from Washington Square to Soi Cowboy to taste that fetid Bangkok air!!!!
I feel that the guy from Apocalypse Now when he shouts "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" but what I really love is the smell of quim in the morning!!! Mmmmmm
How often do you visit the Land of Smiles?
I try and visit at least once or twice a year....I tell the wife that I'm going to"detox" at the Chiang Mai Ayurvedic Centre but take a couple of sly trips to Phuket and Pattaya to party and catch up with my favourite bar girls, Noi and Lek.
I sometimes feel like the Scarlet Pimpernel because I to try to keep everything incognito. I don't want to draw any unwanted attention from the press and find myself in Jan Moir's Daily Mail column, being torn a new arse hole........
That's certainly true Frank, lets hope that Jan never finds out about your visits to the Land of Smiles!!!
Anyway, my readers will be keen to know which bar in Thailand is your favourite?
Gosh Penfold, that's a tricky one!!!
It depends on lots of factors.....whether I'm looking to chill out and enjoy a couple of quiet sherberts or going out to paint the town red, in true Bough-styleeeeee!!!
To relax, I enjoy going to the Bamboo Bar at the Oriental Hotel in Bangkok. I can listen to some Jazz whilst supping on a Mai Tai. It's class and sophistication reminds me of something from
the colonial era.
But if I'm trying to impress a lady then the Bed Supper Club on Sukhumvit Road in Bangkok, is a real winner. It's super chic and contemporary. Uncle Frank guarantees that if you're trying to woo a young lady then this is the venue for you!!!!
In Pattaya, my favourite hangout is Mistys ago-go. This is perfect if you want to enjoy reasonable priced beer and the attentions of gorgeous, coffee-coloured ladies. The wiggling and jiggling leaves little to the imagination though!!!!
But for complete luxury, my choice would be getting served ice-cold Krug champagne by the infinity pool at the Evason Ana Mandara resort, in Nha Trang, Vietnam.
What is your favourite destination?
In Thailand my favourite places to visit are Mai Hong Son and Pai both lovely rural areas in the North of Thailand. But if you're looking for a beach getaway then Koh Nang Yuan is exceptional, wth great beaches, accommodation and best of all no backpackers!!!!
Also it is far enough away from the madding crowd, to allow you to throw wild parties and invite boat loads of muff without incurring anyone's wrath!!!!
But for anyone searching for peace and quiet. The most laid back place I've ever been to in South East Asia is Sihanoukvill in Cambodia.....Uncle Frank can't rate this town highly enough!!!!
Finally, what would be the one piece of advice you would give a first time traveller to Thailand?
Don't lose your heart to go-go dancer!!!!
Thanks for sharing your perals of wisdom with us today Frank and my readers will be happy to welcome you back anytime!!!!