Penfold's South East Asian Odyssey

It's official chaps, spanking your monkey can prove fatal and should come with a government health warning!!!! This is what ultimately led to the demise of poor Khun Leurit Chanchum, from the Nakhon Sri Thammarat region in southern Thailand. Let me set the record straight before you start thinking that Khun Leurit was a boss-eyed, sex pest who spent his days looking up the skirts of the local lasses. He was actually a professional coconut collector, ably assisted in his task by Nong Khwan, his highly-trained macaque. Believe it or not, Nong Khwan graduated with honours from "Withayalai Ling", the country's foremost monkey training college based in Surat Thani. The morning of February 25, 2009, began much the same as any other, with a neighbour hiring Khun Leurit to collect his coconuts. The first tree was duly harvested, but when prompted to climb the next, the cheeky monkey decided to work to rule and refused. But, as I've always said, if you pay peanuts you get ...

You couldn't make this up!!! With obesity levels worldwide hitting epedemic proportions, the next sponosr of the Thai national football team, is that bastion of healthy and nutritious cuisine............McDonalds!!! Ronald McDonald must be laughing himself hoarse with the irony of it all!!!! You can just picture him slavering like Pavlov's Dogs and rubbing his fat, greasy hands together with the thought millions of Thai children nibbling on his McNuggets. In terms of being a danger to children, Ronald McDonald makes Gary Glitter look like the Sugar Plum Fairy. “This will be a great help towards our efforts to reach the 2014 World Cup Finals,” said FAT (Football Assocation of Thailand) president Worawi Makudi. “This funding will help develop our game, especially youth football, and all the players, junior and senior, will get to enjoy the food too,”. Urrrrmmmmm lets have a little think about that Khun Worawi!!! If your players are gorging themselves on a diet of Supersized McChu...

"Taliban, staying here in Thailand, Fawlty!!! Bunch of Camel jockeys, Bloody bad eggs, all of 'em!!!" I'm afraid in the current political climate that most people would probably agree with the Major on this point!!!!! It may seem incredible to believe that a country famed for it's gentle Buddhist religion is suffering the scourge of Islamic extremism. And it will certainly cause your spinchter to pucker up tighter than a Scotman's wallet, knowing that only hours from Thailand's tourist hotspots, lurk large numbers of FundaMENTAList ragheads. The Southern provinces of Yala, Pattani and Narathiwat, home to many of Thailand's muslims, have been experiencing an increasingly violent insurgency over the last 5 years. The population in the South who are mainly Malay-Muslims, had for years lived in relative peace with their Buddhist neighbours. But now there is an increasing jihadist undertone and the attacks have become more sophisticated, including car-bombi...

Thailand has a wonderfully rich and unique cultural heritage and it is famous around the world for its vibrant and colourful festivals. For me, the most striking and eagerly anticipated of these festivals is the annual, "Loy Krathong" or "Festival of Light". It is traditionally performed on the full moon night of the twelfth lunar month. For those of us using the Western Calendar, this usually means it is held during the first week of November. Unlike many Thai festivals, with their complex rituals and meanings which can often be difficult for foreigners to understand, the concept of Loy Krathong is very simple. The word 'Loy' means 'to float or sail' while 'krathong' refers to the vessel, usually lotus-shaped, upon which offerings are placed. A typical krathong will contain sweets, flowers, betel nuts and coins, as well as candles and incense. Traditionally, the kratong was made from a lily plant or woven banana leaves, but these days moder...

Welcome to the first in my series of blogs highlighting the best in accommodation, attractions, services, entertainment and dining. The featured supplier for the month of November is the Salil Hotel in Bangkok. Hotel Description: The Salil Hotel is a small boutique property, offering excellent service and accommodation set amongst Thai-colonial style architecture, it features 27 stylish guest rooms and suites. Salil Hotel is centrally located on Sukhumvit Soi 8, only 2 minutes by Golf Cart to the Nana BTS Sky Train station. All main business districts, shopping centers, restaurants and tourist attractions are in very close proximity. The new international airport is only 30 minutes away. Thus Salil Hotel is suitable for both the business and leisure traveller. The luxurious rooms are beautifully decorated in the Thai-Colonial style which provides you with the ultimate experience of a bygone era. There are different room designs ranging from 25 sqm to 35 sqm from stylish one-bedroom u...