Penfold's South East Asian Odyssey

A book review I hear you cry........you're engaging in intellectual persuits rather than getting inebriated and watching the Gooners!!! What's wrong with you Penfold? Have you suffered some kind of cranial trauma or been visited by the ghost of Evelyn Waugh? Actually, it's a book that will appeal to a broad range of people and not just pipe smoking English professors!!! Far from being an artsy-fartsy critique on the works of Proust or Dostoevsky it's a simple review of Amit Gilboa's best-selling book, entitled, "Off the Rails in Phnom Penh: Into the Dark Heart of Guns, Girls, and Ganja" . As the title suggests, it's a lurid exposé of the Cambodian capital, Phnom Penh, vividly describing the daily lives and exploits, of a "colourful" group of expats. It caused a real stir in South East Asia, when it was published in 1998, due its disturbing content, searing honesty and its darkly humourous portrayal of modern day Cambodia. The poweful combinat...

A dog is supposed to be man's best friend, but a monk from the Sam Toei Temple in the Northern Thai town of Pitsanuloke, has taken this to a whole new level!!!! The randy sexagenarian suffered a stroke, after playing a game of "hide the sausage" with one of the female temple dogs!!! Locals living near temple were alerted to the unholy goings-on by blood-curdling howls (I don't know whether they were coming from the dog or the monk!!!) and fearing an axe-murderer was on the rampage they summoned the local constabulary. When officers arrived they found Khun Phrapan Chitutasaro slumped on the floor, in a state of arousal, next to a bottle of washing up washing-up liquid. Mmmmmm kinky!!!! When and if Khun Phrapan regains consciousness, he is more likely to be facing criminal charges than receiving an invitation be a guest judge at next years Crufts Dog Show!!! Officials at the temple quickly distanced themselves from the canine loving cleric, by saying he had refused to p...

Joining me in the hot seat today, fresh from bringing peace and stability to the Middle East (well almost!!!) is former prime minister Tony Blair. Tony, my readers will appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedule to have a beer with me and put the world to rights..... I agree Penfold, this is a chance to connect with your readers and is not the time for shameless political point scoring and sound bites...... But I must say that I'm disappointed David Cameron has yet to grant you an interivew and...I feel the hand of history on my shoulder, when I sit here with you today, discussing South East Asian development... Righty ho Tony......moving swiftly on!!!! With the on-going Chilcot inquiry into the Iraq war, aren't you anxiously looking over his shoulder in case representatives from the International Criminal Court pay you a visit? Penfold, I thought I was here to discuss the merits of ladyboy threesome's and visits to soapy massage parlours in Bangkok and not to...

Welcome to my first post of this new year and new decade. I hope you enjoyed the festivities and are recovering from your over indulgences!!!! I thought the best way to kick-off 2010 would be with a "What's on guide", highlighting some of the most exciting events taking place in Thailand this year. January: The Phuket International Boat Show (7th - 10th January) If you have some spare cash in your piggy bank and are looking to splash out on a yacht, or even if you just fancy a nice day out, then I would like to point you in the direction of the Phuket Marina Exhibition and Conference Center. The annual Phuket International Boat Show markets itself as "Thailand's premier boating and lifestyle event" and this year it features over 80 exhibitors and 45 yachts. http://www.phuketboatshow.com/ The Royal Trophy Golf Tournament (8th - 10th January) This is one of the premier events for golf fanatics in Thailand. The annual Europe vs Asia contest is held at the ex...

My home has just been visited by a corpulent bearded fellow who appears to have consumed all my rum and mince pies.... I'm assuming its Christmas and the guest was Santa, unless I've just been burgled by Oliver Reed!!!! I have always enjoyed festive period and I can see this continuing even when I'm in my dotage!!!! I really enjoy the food and drink, decorating the Christmas tree and hanging your stocking out for Santa!!!! But, these days, I'd much rather see the stockings on my missus!!!! Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to wish all my readers a Happy Christmas and prosperous New Year. I look forward to 2010 being a great year in the bloggersphere!!!!

Let's face it, when the mercury tips 100 degrees and the plastic flowers are even starting to wilt, there nothing is better than supping on an ice cold glass of wobbly pops!!! Although, if you're a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, Thailand isn't exactly the best place to hold your next meeting!!! I am well placed to comment on this aspect of Thailand, thanks to my penchant for the amber nectar and having consumed more beer over the years, than a coach load of hillbillies at a Klu Klux Klan convention. One of things that tourists often find strange is that the Thais drink their beer with ice!!! For the first time visitor this takes some getting used too, but it is an aspect of the drinking culture that I have come to accept. And you soon understand why this is the case when you're sitting in the sun and your beer starts going warm!!! In the next few paragraphs, I shall endeavour to provide information and tasting notes covering the most popular brands together with highl...

Where better to review than the inimitable Thai city of Bangkok. The capital of Thailand has many monikers, "the Big Mango, "City of Angels" or "Krung Thep" as it is known to the locals. It currently holds the record for the world's longest place name. So, I shall give it ts full dignified title.......... "Krungthep Maha Nakorn Amorn Ratanakosindra Mahindrayudhya, Mahadilokpop Noparatana Rajthani Burirom Udom Rajnivet Mahastan Amorn Pimarn Avatarn Satit Sakkatuttiya Vishnukarm Prasit". Wow, what a tongue-twister, I think even most native Thai speakers would struggle with that!!! Better still, try saying it after a couple of Johnnie Walkers!!!! Bangkok is often described as a city of contrasts. This is reflected both in the cityscape, with the juxtaposition of centuries-old temples and gleaming 21st century skyscrapers and in society itself, with beggars sharing pavement space with the Gucci-wearing members of Thailand's high-society!!!! The ci...